Tag: truth

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DisIntegration Experiences: 2

In the coming weeks I am posting extracts from my upcoming book. It's is about my experiences trying to integrate into different societies.

I convey my journey in countries and societies, based on my perspective and only my own experiences. I communicate my trials and errors of integration to you – without any filters. Welcome enquiring minds and those who want answers. I encourage you to contribute, ask questions and offer your own views. This platform is not complete without your contribution.

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Experiences on Integration: 1

Welcome back to Red Breast’s blog after a long break!! It’s been hot here in Portugal lately – I hope the rest of you are enjoying a more cool summer somewhere out there, even if I doubt it.

News. I am working on a new project - a book. In the coming weeks I will posting extracts here … So stay TUNED!  This book is about my experiences trying to integrate into different societies.

This not an embassy-approved manual of vaccinations needed, nor a best-practices guide of how to hob-knob at a local cocktail party. It lays bare the psychology of being a stranger in a foreign society. All is based on personal observations and experiences without referencing solely previous works, neither statistics nor research.

Who might this be for? For anybody who is interested in understanding what lies beneath the stereotypes of encountering and living in new societies.

I hope this no-nonsense account will give you more perspective of the true values, interests, preferences, strengths and weaknesses of living abroad than a regular travel book. Because the best truth, is what happened.

I lived my first 25 years in Finland, before moving first to The Netherlands, then to the UK and France now Portugal.

Back soon ...

 

Photo by Alex Paganelli

 

 

 

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Be True to Yourself – Speak Up Now

Are you somebody who sits back and says nothing when something really needs to be said? It could be an idea, a suggestion, an observation, a criticism ... but for some reason you don't want to speak up. Well, I was.

Some people might say like staying silent is the wiser choice – and it does apply to some situations.
But there are a few reasons why despite the risk, standing up is a good choice.

‘You must feel the fear and speak your mind anyway. Then act in spite of fear. Act in spite of anything.
So often people sit back and say nothing when something really needs to be said. Speaking up is an important form of honesty – for yourself’

 

gandhi

Think about fear. Why are you frightened? Imagine you feel in your guts that you want to say what you think. Say it, and it will bring you relief and release your emotions.
- If you stay silent it is usually taken as if you would agree. And if you don’t say what you wish, what could be further from the truth – it will later frustrate and create resentment in you.

You may not be alone in your thinking. Others may share your thoughts and opinions, but may be also unwilling or fearful to speak up. By speaking your mind you also encourage them to voice their opinions. If you say something that is considered irrelevant and unimportant then you voiced your opinion anyway: and if this is criticized in the group – it is a sign that the dialogue is not open.

Speaking up demonstrates that you will be truthful not only with other people, but with yourself. And when you practice this – it will flow naturally to speak up as your confidence improves, even if you would be an introvert.

 

Photo by Ricardo Mancía

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Journalists Packaging it All For You – Meet the Press

The world is in chaos, but luckily the all-knowing, wise, reliable, transparent reporter is here to hold your hand.

You don’t even have to think for yourself – they will do it for you. And give you

  • The way you should approach the issue
  • The underlying problems
  • What the solution is

Ain’t that nice.

But hang on…do you think Brexit is working? You can’t mean that surely. And what about Trump?! Get a grip on yourself. You don’t mean to tell me that guy has some point in something he is uttering.

Don’t you dare … you must surely be

  • Combative
  • A Nationalist
  • A Populist
  • Confrontational
  • Anti-EU
  • Anti-Establishment

 

Photo by Elijah O'Donell
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Do What You Do Best – Don’t Jump at Every Opportunity

Why don't 99% of people have what they want in life?

Well, because 99% of people DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT! Sounds incredible doesn't it!? But if the majority would know what they want right here and now, there would be nothing to discuss, right?

Accepting yourself has got to be one of the biggest secrets to happiness and discovering your true purpose in life. But coming to terms with the truth about yourself and what you want - may require difficult situations struggle, and sacrifices. See, not all people might like it because your strength highlights the weakness of insecure people in doubt. And many of these people might be very close. So there might be people and conditions not necessarily favouring your transition. Change is needed, and change almost always brings stress and a feeling of insecurity.

It could mean:
-Pursuing a new career based on what you really want to do
-Leaving behind a relationship or person - or a well paid but meaningless job

Bear in mind:

  1. Not all opportunities are to be taken.
  2. Be aware and know your limits, we all have them.
  3. Determine your natural environment? (For a bird it is the air; for a fish it's water). What happens when a dog in water tries to attack a shark :-)?
  4. Some opportunities are traps.
  5. Usually the best response to provocation is not to fight.
  6. Only focus on the battles you can win.
  7. You fight best in your natural element and environment.
  8. Don't procrastinate over things you can't control.
  9. Occasionally to accomplish something, you need team work - you will not always win alone.
  10. If you want to go fast, go alone - If you want to go far - go together.
  11. Stick to what you do best and FOCUS ON THAT.

Let me ask you: do you want to dedicate your life to pleasing and do you want to be universally popular? Then you should not find out about your talents nor take any risks. It could be comfy. But will it have meaning when you are 80 years old thinking back on your life?

But if you are ready to commit, and pay the price for you wishes becoming reality, I salute you and respect you – because your rewards will be much higher than for those who settle to live the life of others in safety, boredom and dissatisfaction. Blessed are you, because as your final moment approaches, and approach it will - you will know that you had the courage to follow the path that was you, despite the sacrifices and hardships endured along the way.

 

Photo by Lubo Minar